Home for Valentines Day

My last blog was just about a year ago and the last line said, "I found that man that loves me as much as my dad loves my mom."

Last Valentines Day I went all out, I lined the stairs and the hallway with tea light candles, I made stuffed bell peppers and bought champagne, I had a table filled with pictures and little xoxo confetti, it took me almost 4 hours to set up and it was perfect for him. Two weeks later we were packing up our cars with bitter sweet emotion on going back to Temecula after 8 short months in San Francisco but we were excited to go HOME.

I quit my job to build Aperture Elite, I integrated my photography and it stayed consistent, exciting and spontaneous, A little stressful as all business's are but I had a goal and we were working towards a goal of a house together, We got that big beautiful house and I finally got that pretty diamond on my finger too! So I hung up our favorite pictures on the wall and I matched our throw pillows to the area rug and set up my office and he set up this really neat garden in the backyard and our house looked put together and warm and open. Our home started being separate activities and broken promises, it was cold and kind of lonely, and hugs and I love you just didn't hold it together any more, all of a sudden I'm standing in this big beautiful house but I don't have my home. This house we fought so hard for was just that, It was a house with now holes in the wall from those pictures we hung up, and the trow pillows are at my friends house mismatched to her carpet, You dug up that garden and I moved my office to Maryland.

The magical thing about home is the people that make it warm and open, The people that get excited when you walk through the door and vise versa, At my parents house the salt and pepper shaker have matched the plates since I was born, you can tell who is home by the keys hanging by the door and the shoes by the stairs and for some reason pillows are always softer than anywhere else. There are pictures on the wall and the fireplace and old memories that don't seem so cold and lonely. So this Valentines day I didn't have tealight candles lighting up a room, I didn't buy confetti and champagne and I don't have you this year. I still have a table full of pictures and I made that Fettuccine Alfredo that you LOVED so much. So maybe I didn't find that guy who loves me as much as my dad loves my mom, and maybe I did, but this year I went to Maryland for Valentines Day and this time I wont be packing up my bags in a couple weeks because I am HOME.